Ravaged By Time

I started this blog and had a great first week. I posted four times that first week but immediately fell off for the next couple of weeks. I quit my job about six weeks ago and the blog was a way for me to handle it. I find that helping others, helps me as well. When I am helping others, my anxiety decreases and my dopamine rises. These things lead to lower anxiety attacks.

I suffer from imposter syndrome and I am in a horrible field to suffer from that. I was an tattoo apprentice. I had gone into tattooing because I have a degree in art but finding art jobs where I live is virtually impossible. I live in a small town in the Midwest and art is not something that is in high demand here. So I thought, “To Hell with it, I will try tattooing.” Tattooing was something that I have always admired but never really wanted to do because I like to work on canvases that don’t move or have body odor, you would be surprised how many people walk into a tattoo shop and have no idea how badly they smell.

I apprenticed at a shop for 11 months before I decided it was not the shop for me. During the first nine months of my apprenticing, I had no instruction from anyone and was left to learn on my own from YouTube. As I have mentioned numerous times at this point I am an older person so I have been around the block so many times that I have it memorized. I started to see the owners of the shop for who they truly were and it was something I could not stomach. They were using me to run their front end because they were too lazy to actually work. They also have no working knowledge of art. I value honesty and integrity in people and they did not have a shred of either so I decided my best option was to leave and hope to fine another shop.

Since leaving the shop, I have been door dashing. The funny thing is I actually enjoy it. I like not having to answer to anyone and do my own thing my own way. My anxiety has decreased exponentially. I could not tell you the last time I had to take one of my as needed anxiety meds and that is a freeing feeling. I do not like working for other people. I enjoy my solitude and doing my own thing.

I know this blog is all over the place but it was thoughts in my head that I had to get out of it. Hopefully I am getting back on track with this blog. I like using it as practice because I am also looking for writing gigs that I can get paid from so I need the practice.

Thanks for reading. Until next time. Stay aware~Ravaged By Time