Ravaged By Time

I am a 53 year old man who has lived with anxiety for the majority of my life. As I have gotten older, it has gotten worse. I find myself every night before going to sleep and reliving every conversation I have had that day. This leads to insomnia and sleep deprivation, which makes anxiety worse.

I do my best to live my life with integrity, honesty and self awareness. For example, during Thanksgiving of this year my wife and I took a trip to Kentucky to spend the holiday with all of our children. During that trip I had forgotten my daily anxiety meds, I had only had my as needed anxiety meds. Mind you, when I miss a dose of my anxiety medicine, I usually have some sort of meltdown by the end of the day. We were in Kentucky for 5 days and the whole time my nerves were shot. I snapped at people while we were playing games as a family. The next day, I apologized to my children and their significant others for my behavior. They all said I was fine but to me I didn’t behave in a manner that I saw as appropriate so I told them I appreciated the apology but know I didn’t behave well and I tend to punish myself when things like this happens. I hold myself accountable when I do something wrong.

I will try to write daily in this blog. This may not happen but I will do at least 3 times a week at minimum. If I do this for an extended period of time and do not have readers, I will try different topics.

I will talk about methods that I use to deal with my anxiety and how I will push myself past it to get done what I need to get done. These methods tend to be breathing exercises similar to Qui Geong or finding positives in negatives.

I may at time branch out into different topics as well. If there is something you would like me to talk about, leave a comment and I will do my best at researching it and write something up about it.

That’s going to be it for my first blog. I know it is kinda all over the place. I will tighten my writing up as this blog continues. Thank you if you have read this far. Have a great day. ~Ravaged By Time